Recently my wife has taken to watching mini crime documentaries on social media. She will spend the evening watching stories about the most horrific acts of violence, rape and torture across the world, a non-stop flow of barely believable acts, men, woman and children tortured or murdered or both.

I hear her ask the questions, how can people do this? How can we stop this?

The answer is simple. Replace fear, anger, hatred and the underlying loss that is felt, which motivates all these acts with love. Replacing all these emotions with love would end all of this type of crime.

So how do you go about realising this Love?

The components to address are as follows:

  1. Coming from a place of loss
  2. Dealing with Emotions and Feelings, particularly; fear, anger and hatred
  3. Managing relationships

This applies to all the perpetrators involved in a situation, certain elements will vary more than others. This also applies to sociopaths, functional psychopaths as well as those we may call generally disfunctional.

The Focul Point

Understand that all peoples are unified through a core direction that is pre-programmed into us from inception. All desire abundant joy, love and a life that is fulfilled. All choices are targeted towards this outcome. How this is realised in our current society is a mess at every level of society and the resultant thought processes and actions are not very effective at bringing that result in a consistent way.

This may be fully realised through embracing the Self-Actualising process I offer, which focuses all thoughts and resultant actions in ones life to systematically bring about this realisation.

Coming from a Place of Loss

All crimes or acts of depravity stem from the notion “there is not enough”. This is to come from a place of loss, where you feel that you have or will lose out in your Self-Actualisation. That is to lose out primarily on your happiness and or love. Our society and cultural ethos does not understand how to use the notion of “not enough” to elevate itself successfully and hence it is a weapon of total destruction rather than freedom.

To utilise the notion that “there is not enough” one must properly direct it towards Self-Actualising and utilise the Tools of Creation correctly to setup ingrained beliefs or personal programmes that you run as behaviours automatically that better serve the outcome you desire. The logic is simple and I have covered it many times in other articles you can reference here.

Thoughts – Words (communications) – Actions

Target all thoughts to bringing Joy to all that they concern.

Observe the communications from all that a thought concerns to see if they reflect the joy that the thought will or does bring now and ultimately.

Then the actions need to be ones that would be deemed loving actions to all concerned. And when applying this logic you must discern and work only to what is practical. Sometimes it is the right thing to do to take a life or use violence, it may not bring joy to all ultimately if you are ending a life, but is it the most practical means to ensure the best quality of outcome given that situation? You will need to be clinical with the logic and be impassive or entirely neutral when running it for the most complicated of situations.

This is a simple process to learn and follow and maybe applied to every thought and action one considers in life so is entirely practical for every situation.

Dealing with Emotions and Feelings

Most people in our society are not taught means to direct or dissipate feelings that hinder Self-Actualisation. Indeed they are not taught how to systematically Self-Actualise and to steer all thoughts and actions in a progressive way.

The first principle to understand is that all emotions and feelings are good. They are all designed to elevate and perpetuate happiness, love and peace (fulfilment). However, this is little known and how to utilise all emotions, including hatred to elevate oneself emotionally in a progressively Self-Actualising way.

Feelings are propulsion and when strong result in immediate action with strength. But does this work for you? On the subject of murder or torture, if it is not systematically thought out to result in actions that would elevate all in a practical way then the results are what one could then say would be deemed as being wrong.

So people get into situations that there are strong feelings propelling them. There are a range of techniques that can dispel these feelings in the moment quickly to come back to neutrality to properly consider the actions. Killing your lover is rarely a positive action and is generally done when fuelled by uncontrolled emotions in a moment. Yet the tools to dissipate these emotions in the moment are available and may simply be taught and practiced from childhood if we as a society really wanted to help our young as they go into life.

Holding the ends of your thumb and fingers will dispel, anger, fear, worry and anxiety instantaneously and it improves with practice. See my book for more details on this here.

Educating people to do this, by itself would dramatically reduce all crimes of passion and it is freely available and can be done by all, even those with no hands when you fully understand the techniques.

Managing Relationships

Every type of relationship has particular beliefs or values that surround it. These result in predetermined sets of behaviours, that grow and expand with further experiences utilising them.

Bad logic that grows only means more mess.

All relationships are to explore further Self-Actualisation. That is to realise more happiness, love and fulfilment in all its forms.

If you sat down and inspected all your beliefs surrounding a loving relationship, utilising the tools of creation, Thoughts-Words-Actions towards bringing joy and love, do they function to most effectively bring that? Then there is the other part of the equation and their beliefs and behaviours. Do these gel or do they rub and what is your reaction? And what are you going to do about it to most effectively Self-Actualise?


A big issue in our society are “holding expectations”, not just of yourself but others in a relationship. The hidden contract that perhaps you are also subject to.

Love is freedom, is your relationship freedom expressed?

Marriage for example is mostly expressed in our society as a contract that suppresses and restricts, as opposed to being a full expression of freedom in a relationship that should grow with both parties as you continue to Self-Actualise.

Also, we are not systematically taught to design our beliefs in our society. They tend to be placed on us, whether they are useful or not. The ability to re-design beliefs and get rid of unuseful ones in your Self-Actualisation would be the most useful thing all would benefit from knowing. In fact I would go so far as saying this is essential.

Altering beliefs is simple and quick to do with practice. Emotional Freedom Technique is a simple means to do this, but woefully under utilised in our society.

Holding expectations or requirements in relationships, lead more often to disappointment. This is particularly true when another expects certain things that you have no idea about.

One can either alter the expectation or requirement and convert it into a desire, which means releasing the belief that it has to be done or else. Or if the requirement is just not logical, when utilising the tools of creation towards bringing joy and love most expediently, in your Self-Actualising process, it could potentially then be discarded completely.

Remember a loving relationship should be freeing or liberating.

In Conclusion

There are a number of ways to massively reduce violent crime that would be simple to implement and would enable individuals should awareness be highlighted of it.

The key for crimes of passion, would be how to deal with unbridled feelings in the moment. Simply showing people how to dissipate strong feelings in the moment would do a lot to curb massive build-ups that people may encounter. This may be done quickly and easily by grasping your thumb and fingertips to dissipate, fear or anger.

Showing people that encounter difficult situations how to best deal with them in a Self-Actualising way, in other words how to use the Tools of Creation effectively would enable them to make better judgements, particularly if they come from a place of loss in a situation.

And in combination with the above two key points, enable people by showing them how to de-construct or re-construct beliefs to better serve their Self-Actualisation would provide the means for everyone to better manage relationships based on how they would desire their relationships to be ultimately. In other words not to get caught in a downwards spiral in a dysfunctional relationship that has a greater potential to illicit extreme and destructive responses or actions that are not loving.